My fiancé and I are both passionate people, but in very different ways. While I’m artistic and love books and history, he’s scientific, methodical, and has a ceaseless desire to understand how everything works. While he is interested in the chemical properties of my acrylic paints, I’m more interested in what I can make them do on a canvas (which often isn’t much).
We enjoy things together, but our experiences of things are different. We can both be in awe of something, but for totally different reasons. On our recent trip to Prague, I was mesmerized by the Astronomical Clock. I thought it was beautiful – plated in gold, with the original handmade statues and extensive mythological history. Owen was equally mesmerized, but by the mechanics that were still properly functioning since its installation in 1410…
This experience made me really think about relationships, particularly between two people with very different interests. One of Owen’s favorite pass-times is brewing beer. Not only does he love beer, but he’s interested in the process all the way down to the yeast’s fermenting activity. I on the other hand do not like beer. Brewing a batch of beer takes hours, it smells awful, and I don’t enjoy the final product. I found myself getting frustrated on the days that he brewed. We’re both busy, and I value our weekends together. I saw how much he loved it though and initially decided I would try and learn the process to appreciate it more. I thought if it was something we could do together, we could spend more time together, and he could still enjoy his favorite hobby. Unfortunately, these efforts yielded poor results. I still hate beer. I read about it, went with him to the brewing supply store, asked questions as he brewed, and at the end of the day I realized it was just not something I was ever going to enjoy. I also realized that was okay.
I think that couples often feel compelled to be together, do things together, and enjoy things together, because they’re well.. together. In the beer brewing example, instead of trying to be a part of his hobbies and his interests, I instead started to learn how to make wine. While these hobbies are not necessarily things we do together, our separate interests give us something to talk about at the end of the day (and something we can laugh at because we both often fail at our various projects). The healthiest relationships are often ones where the two people who comprise it are separate individuals, with separate interests, who just happen to really enjoy each other’s company.
Art & science. Beer & wine. It’s all good. Embrace your differences, and let it make you stronger as a couple, rather than create unnecessary distance.
A Type-A Hippie 