Riu Ocho Rios and The Importance of Travel

If you’re reading a travel blog, you know that travel is important. It introduces you to new cultures, people, beliefs, perspectives, food, music, and experiences that you simply would not have otherwise. It wasn’t until I was an older teenager that I was really able to begin adding stamps to my passport, and I’ve only scratched the surface of my travel goals.

Until this past year, I didn’t really realize the true importance of travel. In the summer of 2015, I was ready for a change in scenery, to put it simply. I had done my last chemo treatment in early March and underwent my bilateral mastectomy at the end of March. By June, I was physically recovered, had a cute short hair-style, and was ready to return to the world I had been missing for the past year. While I was recovered physically, I was really just beginning to recover emotionally.

I was falling back into my normal routines, but I still didn’t feel like myself. I was struggling with anxiety and restlessness, and I was waking up with panic attacks. I could feel myself torn. Part of me wanted to jump back into life head-first, letting myself become completely distracted by school and by work and my usual daily life. The other part of me knew this solution would be temporary, and that I would eventually have to face some of the new challenges awaiting me after my year with cancer. I needed some time away from my normal life, time to reflect on the year I had had, and time to figure out how to move forward. This is where travel came in. My fiancé and I packed our bags and headed to Jamaica. Our destination: the Riu Ocho Rios.

Photo courtesy of Riu Ocho Rios

The Riu is a beautiful all-inclusive resort perfectly situated on Mammee Bay with a stunning view of the Mystic Mountains. We arrived at night, and when we woke up the next morning, the view from our balcony took my breath away, with water on one side and the tropical forested mountain range on the other. The healing that I was hoping for began immediately, with the sun, the warmth, and the beauty in every direction.

Views from our room

The trip was exactly what we both needed. From afternoons spent at the swim-up bar, to a fabulous couples massage on the beach at the Renova Spa, we found the peace we had been missing over the past year.

Being our fourth visit to Jamaica, we expected the natural beauty and rich culture that the island country is known for, but we were blown away by the particular allure of Ocho Rios. With a wonderful sea breeze coming in at every hour of the day, the weather was perfect, and the views from every angle were mesmerizing. Located not far from Dunns River Falls, a 180-foot waterfall in a tropical forest in St. Ann, we were able to take a boat excursion and climb the falls; which though comically challenging at points, was amazing.

The resort offers a family and adults-only side, and we stayed at the ladder. While both sides of the resort are lovely, if you don’t have children, the adults-only side is recommended. We had the opportunity to meet some amazing people from all over the world that we spent parts of our week with. My fiancé played soccer every day on the beach, and I started each morning with yoga on the beach or our balcony. We enjoyed pre-dinner cocktails nightly while the sun set, and at night attended incredible live music and dance performances.

One of our favorite parts though, as always, was the food. While all of the resort’s restaurants were impressive – especially the authentic Japanese at Tushima and traditional Brazilian Steakhouse – the best food to be found was down on the beach in the jerk hut. They serve freshly-smoked authentic Jamaican jerk chicken, sausages, rice and cabbage for those who aren’t afraid of a little spice.

This trip was so much more than mere relaxation or entertainment. It allowed me to temporarily escape a place that wasn’t allowing me to see things clearly. Travel doesn’t have to be expensive, it doesn’t have to be a long trip, and it doesn’t have to be far. It just has to get you out of the environment in which you struggled through something. Travel allows you to readjust your focus without the distractions that usually cloud your thoughts. Travel allows you to change your perspective, which we could all stand to do a little more often.

Leave a comment, and tell me about an important trip that you took that felt necessary at the time and made a positive difference in your life. 

Sheilds Up: Setting and Extending your Boundaries

In my “About Me” section, I mentioned that this is not a cancer blog. However, there are some important things that I’ve learned in the whole process that I’ve found valuable and want to share.

One of these lessons that I’ve learned over the past couple years is the importance of boundaries. Setting boundaries is not a new concept. We hear it all the time. How many of us though are actually establishing these firm boundaries, and how far are we extending them?

Maintaining Boundaries

A very important person taught me that in order to care for others, it is imperative to care for yourself first. Only then can you truly be valuable to others. Further, when we help others, it’s important to maintain that protective boundary around ourselves, in order to not become consumed, to not allow someone else’s problems, someones pains, and emotions to become our own. We can give without giving ourselves completely. This is a particularly challenging thing to do, especially when it comes to loved ones. The sense of obligation that we often feel towards close friends, family, and partners, can be harmful and damaging to the very relationships we are trying to protect by helping and giving too much.

Think of boundaries like an invisible shield. Try an experiment where as you move through your day, envision a shield from time to time. When your boss, co-worker, parent, sibling, roommate, or partner asks something of you, ask yourself where your boundary line is. How much is too much? When does it start to weigh too much on you? At what point does the other person overshadow yourself?

“Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” – Eleanor Brownn

Discarding the Weight of the World

There are times in our lives when more self-care is needed than others; during an illness, after the death of a loved one, during any significant life change, or maybe just any given day. These times, though perhaps difficult, present us with the opportunity to reset our boundaries and extend them. I spent the first 23 years of my life doing as much as possible for everyone else. It was in my nature. I hate to see people upset, I hate to see people struggle, to be confused, to be overwhelmed, etc. I took on the weight of every negative emotion of every person around me. I absorbed it all and made it my goal to solve every problem.

What I didn’t see at the time was the physical, mental, and emotional damage this was having on me. In trying to solve all of the problems of the world around me (and thinking that it was actually possible to do so) I was becoming increasingly boundary-less. I had no shields. In my attempts to help friends through trauma, help siblings and parents through family issues, help everyone with everything, I lost myself completely. I began to have headaches, anxiety attacks, episodes of debilitating depression. I assumed something was wrong physically, because I couldn’t see that it was my emotional and mental self that I wasn’t preserving and caring for.

Gaining Perspective

Cancer was my wakeup call, but wakeup calls come in a lot of different forms. I went from never putting myself first, to needing to put myself first in order to rid my body of cancer and to heal. As I progressed through my treatments, through physical recovery, and finally through emotional recovery after I entered remission, I learned slowly but surely how to practice self-care in every area of my life. It sounds selfish, but focusing on my self has allowed me to become a better girlfriend (now fiancee), a better sister, daughter, and friend.

This is all not to say we shouldn’t help people. I wouldn’t be writing this blog if I felt that way. At the end of the day though, we can only truly care for ourselves, and it is ourselves that we are most often neglecting. You can temporarily make someone feel better, but only they can truly heal themselves. By constantly trying to help others and “fix” others, instead of simply supporting, we’re not really giving them the tools they need to take care of themselves. In helping too much, we’re often helping less, maybe even hurting. If we take care of ourselves, heal ourselves, protect ourselves, we are able to more effectively do so for others, making our relationships with others, as well as ourselves, stronger.

Share an example in the comment section of a time when you realized you had to take a step back and really focus on you. When did you most need to practice setting and extending your personal boundaries? 

Freelance: A Day in the Life

This post originally appeared on Hubpages.com. 

(Did anyone else start singing The Beatles’ A Day in the Life when they read this title?)

As many of us here on WordPress are freelance writers, I didn’t feel a need to write a “How To” post about freelancing. I merely wanted to reflect on the experience of being a freelance writer and hope to encourage some conversation to learn about other writer’s experiences and emotions concerning our particular professional choice.

While in college as an English major, I went through the all-too-common moments of panic, asking myself, and asked by others, what I was going to do with my professional life. When I graduated from college, I had no idea what I was going to do for money, but I figured I’d start with freelancing. I came across what felt like 200 freelance sites, each more seemingly shady than the last. I completed a few transcribing, editing, and blog writing jobs, but they were few and far between. I couldn’t afford to pay for the services that would allow my applications for jobs to be seen by large numbers of people, and I was being washed out by thousands of users applying for the same few jobs.

My need to pay bills took me to other jobs; child care, dog walking, retail etc. While I love dogs and kids, I felt discouraged. After countless emails and applications that went un-replied to, I began to lose hope that I would ever acquire a “real job”. I decided to stick with it though, and after a few more odds-and-ends writing jobs, and one great social media writing job, I started to realize that it was my definition of “real job” that needed some adjustment, not my resumé or search techniques.

As a freelance writer, editor, social media manager, brand ambassador and many other titles that are always changing, I started to realize how happy I was doing different things every day. I also realized one day that I had simply stopped applying for full-time 9-5 office jobs. I started to embrace the life of a freelance writer.

My Career as a Freelance Fill-in-the-Blank

In the past year, my jobs have grown to include a variety of different blog writing, editing, graphic design and marketing projects. Every day brings something new, and there is nothing more motivating, in my opinion, than this kind of work. In a culture that demands you have a title, a position, a “place of employment”, career goals, business cards, LinkedIn profiles, references, connections etc., it can be particularly stifling to creative individuals. Like anything else, there are positives and negatives that comes with this type of work.

The Plus Side

• Excitement: Every day brings something new; new projects, new goals, new challenges, new perspectives, new opportunities, and new things to learn.
• People: You get to meet and work with so many different people from different fields and industries. A law firm needs writers, designers, and other such creators as much as an art gallery or a coffee shop needs writers, designers and other such creators. Language unites us all, and those who are able to use it well benefit from this.
• Experience: Maintaining a job in the creative industry allows for a constantly-evolving skill set. I am adding new things to my resume regularly as I learn new things with each job I stumble upon and can manage to secure. Your experience and skill set is not limited to Excel spreadsheets or even to Photoshop or InDesign. Your experiences will be varied and unique.
• Inspiration: While I of course do not speak for everyone when I say this, I personally find it difficult to stay inspired and motivated when I am obligated to do the same things day in and day out; the idea of the same office, the same desk chair, the same views, the same people, and the same work make me feel claustrophobic and stagnant. The world of freelancing, while stressful, allows for regular positive change and inspiration.
• Flexibility: This is not to say you will not be working your tail off. What freelancing does allow is the ability to choose when and where you complete your massive amount of work. Monday through Friday, nine to five, is the perfect situation for many people. For others, like myself, there are times I’m feeling motivated at midnight, and I’ll need to write, read or sketch. Of course there are deadlines, but there is no time card, no clock to punch in on. For those with families, freelancing allows the possibility to work around children’s schedules unlike other situations that require sitters or day care.
• Do. What. You. Love: To me, this is the most important part. Those who choose to be freelancers are choosing it because they love to write or create. There are many others who have passions that have to take a back seat to their professional careers. I personally don’t want my passions to ever take a back seat. There will of course be times in my life when stability is needed. I do not have children yet but hope to some day, and that may require something new, but I will always try to do what I love, and I hope and wish that is something everyone tries to do.

Down Side

While I personally believe that the positives outweigh the negatives, there are still a couple down sides to be accounted for when it comes to freelancing. There are two big ones that can’t be ignored.

• Finding work: The big one. Much of freelance work involves actually finding work. Envision you have a writing project. You finish your 10,000-word article on hydroponic herb gardening, you close your laptop, take a big sigh of relief at your project’s completion… then you get another cup of coffee, reopen your laptop, and it’s back to the job hunt. Freelancing requires endless searching for more freelancing. Of course many people are able to find regular work and projects, but for many the job search is never-ending and relentless.
• Instability: While it is very possible, and common, to fully support yourself and your family with freelance writing, editing, designing, etc., rarely is it a stable, reliable source of income. The website you regularly write for could be overpowered by a newer similar website, taking away all traffic. The blog you write could simply fall out of favor with the ever-shifiting pop culture audience. There is risk involved with freelancing that we all know is there. Freelancing doesn’t come with a 401K or health insurance. It doesn’t pay for you to get your Masters degree or provide a company credit card. There aren’t many three, five, or ten year contracts with freelancing. You just have to continue to push forward, remembering the reasons on the plus side list above that made you choose this “career” path.
• Creativity shortcomings: As a creative freelancer I like to think I am always up for the next challenge, the next design project, the next article or blog piece, the next book chapter. As a human though, I realized very quickly that is not the case. There are times when the words are just not coming, the mental images are just not there, and the ideas are just not flowing. For some, bad work days just means you come into the office the next morning and start over. For freelancers, those second chances aren’t always available to us. When we have a deadline and our creativity has temporarily abandoned us, we’re basically SOL. I think of this as a “creativity blackhole”, the place where all freelancer’s creativity, inspiration and originality goes to die. It happens to the best of us, and we just need to find ways to reboot.

A Little Advice

I want to make it clear that this advice is not coming from a seasoned freelance veteran. I’m still learning, but here are a couple things I’ve learned so far:

• Be open-minded. A lot of jobs will come your way if you’re willing to at least give them a shot. Don’t assume you won’t be good at a certain job. Give it a try. Each attempt at a new opportunity allows for a new learning experience.
• Don’t burn bridges. Some jobs won’t work out. Maybe you completely botched a blog piece or an infographic. That doesn’t mean you delete that job and the person who hired you from your contacts forever. Simply apologize, suggest assisting with a future project that may be more up your alley, and wish them well. Follow up down the line. Stay on the radar.
• Relocate. Freelancing gives you the opportunity and the flexibility to work from different places. Take advantage of this. Work from bed on rainy days. Work in the kitchen, on the couch, in a Starbucks, a sandwich shop, a park. When you change your surroundings, you invite new creativity, inspiration and perspective into your work, and your work will benefit from this. It’s easy to fall into what I referred to in the last section as a “creativity blackhole”. The best way to pull yourself out of it is a change in scenery and a step back. Do some yoga, have a cup of coffee, read a book, take a walk. Sitting in front of the same screen in the same location day in and day out is bound to dry up your creativity quickly.
• Get back to the basics. I personally have a desk with two computer monitors, a cell phone and a tablet. Like most other people, most of my work is done via technology, and there are plenty of benefits to that. But when it comes to creative work, there are times when it is best to get back to the basics. Take out a notebook and pen. Sketch an idea on paper before you attempt it on Photoshop. Write out content on lined paper before you type it out. Read a book, not a Kindle. Whatever your creative medium, there is always a way to go back to the basics. Don’t forget to reconnect with those basics once in a while. It’ll be refreshing.

 

For those of you who decided to make a career freelance writing, designing, photographing, or any other form of creative outlet – what has your experience been like? What do you love and what do you hate about freelance work? Leave a comment! 

Prague

This past April, my fiancé and I spent four days in Prague, and four days was not nearly long enough. It was our first visit, and we were overwhelmed by the beauty and grandeur of the city’s architecture and the friendly, welcoming nature of the Czech people that we met.

As big Airbnb fans, we stumbled across a perfect apartment in a 15th century Gothic building, just steps from Prague’s Old Town Square. Our hosts Jan and Sarah went above and beyond to make our stay comfortable and convenient, offering us detailed guides and personalized itineraries. Jan met us when we arrived to escort us to the apartment. I can’t say enough wonderful things about this couple. Along with being the best hosts we could imagine, they also have a fabulous Instagram account documenting their adventures with Prague’s fantastic culinary scene.

Because our visit was relatively short, we packed as much as humanely possible into each day. At the end of each day, we realized we had logged about 8-10 miles on foot, which sounds absurd, but the city is so breathtaking that we didn’t want to miss a single thing, so we took it in stride (literally).

Some Prague fun facts:

• Prague is the capital and largest city in the Czech Republic, with a population of about 1.26 million.
• It is located on the Vltava River, allowing for some of the most stunning and historical bridges in Europe.
• The weather is temperate in Prague all year round. We got away with light layers during our trip.
• It was founded during the Romanesque era and continued to grow and thrive during the Gothic, Renaissance and Baroque eras with the modern-day city encapsulating a little bit from each era.
• Prague has miraculously survived multiple wars throughout Europe’s tumultuous 20th century, with all of the original architecture in tact.
• Top attractions are Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral, Charles Bridge, the Astronomical Clock, the Jewish Quarter, and the John Lennon Wall.
• It is the fifth most visited city in Europe, after London, Paris, Istanbul, and Rome, especially popular for the low cost of living/visiting (we’re talking $2.00 for beer, and even cheaper outside of the main district).

Here are some shots and favorite moments from our trip.

Outside of Prague Castle and St. Vitus Cathedral

(What we were really thinking in this picture was, “Did it take the picture yet? Did we set the timer for five seconds or ten?”)

As serious coffee lovers, Prague did not disappoint. It’s safe to say we did not walk for more than an hour on any given day without stopping for a cappuccino or espresso (unless we were stopping for a beer). There are countless outdoor café’s, restaurants, and bars, to take advantage of the year-round temperate climate, and while April is still a bit chilly (low to mid 50s), there are outdoor heaters and blankets at nearly every dining spot.

While it’s difficult for me to pick one single highlight from our trip, my mind most often goes back to the John Lennon Wall. Since the 1980s visitors from around the world and from within Prague have been filling this magnificent wall with Beatles lyrics, sayings, and inspirational quotes, all focused around a theme of peace, love, and happiness. It’s a beautiful work of art and humanity that temporarily makes you forget about some of the uglier things going on in the world, and allows you to remember that there is still so much good and so much love in the world. The wall consists of layers upon layers of graffiti, paint, and ink, that have been added over the years, but the message is the same throughout: love is all you need.

Wall in 1981

Wall in 2015

If I had to choose one thing that we saw in Prague more than anything else, it’s Trdelnik. This heavenly doughy treat can be found on every corner. It’s essentially dough that’s wrapped around a cylindrical piece of wood, slowly turned and roasted over hot coals until golden brown, and then sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar or drizzled with chocolate. Some Trdelnik stands also fill the hot dough cones with gelato. These are worth a trip to Prague in and of themselves.

The only thing more beautiful than Prague during the day is Prague at night. When the sun goes down it becomes one of those places where you don’t even want to speak, because there are few words that do justice for what you are seeing and experiencing. The second night we were there, it was drizzling a bit, but it only added to the Old Town Square’s night-time perfection. It reminded me of the movie Midnight in Paris, when Owen Wilson says, “Can you picture how drop dead gorgeous this city is in the rain? Imagine this town in the ’20s. Paris in the ’20s, in the rain.” I’ve been to Paris, and I’ve seen it in the rain, and as strikingly aesthetic as it was, I don’t remember it being quite as bewitching as this Bohemian gem of a city.

My handsome fiancé at Prague Castle with the expanse of the city behind him.

St. Vitus Cathedral, a looming Gothic Roman Catholic cathedral founded c. 930

As someone who has a particular fascination with historical Gothicism and realism, I found Prague to have a mesmerizing element of darkness in keeping with its cultural history.

Every street in Prague boasts ornate architecture, artfully-crafted stone work streets, and colorful building facades, making every turn feel like you’re entering a painting.

This impressive medieval clock demonstrates the position of the moon and sun, a calendar dial with medallions representing the months, and an hourly clock show called “The Walk of the Apostles” with moving sculptures.

Have you visited Prague? Leave a comment, and tell me about your experience.